Two weeks ago, God kept saying the word re-evaluate. re-evaluate. over and over. i didn't really know what it meant.
yesterday i realized that if i were to keep going on the way i was going on i would continue to live life in mediocracy with my relationship with christ, mediocracy in my relationships with others, and I would just be in this constant state of surviving instead of conquering my day to day challanges. i dont want to be just making it through the day anymore; i want to come out of the day having gained more life in my spirit than when i started. i want to live with more joy and i want to change every day for the better. yeah there will always be days where i just make it, but that does not need to be the norm in my attitude towards it.
so comes my new journey. i realized it is time to seriously re-evaluate. in many ways. there are a few big decisions coming up for us and i have been negative about the ordeal; even though i know what is the right thing to do. i want to re-evaluate what it means to be a wife and a mom. and mostly i want to soak in Gods presence each day because i cannot do this on my own.
for the next 40 days.
* each morning nursing session, i will speak out loud words of encouragement into the day and words of encouragement into Matthew and Michael. I will proclaim the joy into the day. Its amazing how words have power. if we say we cannot do something, we probably wont. so i will change that.
* an afternoon nursing session, i will pray out loud for everyone i said i would pray for. its so easy to tell someone we will pray for them but really only think about them.
* at matthews bedtime, i will print out and learn to sing him one new worship song every night. im personally sick of all the silly things i come up to sing to him, and i need to learn some new songs by heart anyway.
so far those are easy. so do able every day. i spend so much time nursing, i need some more productive things other than the computer, and things that i can do to pay attention to him.
*next is the word of the day. i have picked out 40 words in scripture that God calls us to. examples, love, forgiveness, repentance, stewardship, respect, humility, joy etc. each day i pray over that word, study it, and ask God to put me in a position where i have to use it. i want to be chalanged to put it into practice. I want to then reflect on a time someone used that word on me in my life.
* i picked a book i want to finish in the 40 days called God Crazy.
* everything so far is going to be doable with a baby and i can do them while still holding matthew. i also needed to pick one thing that i can do on my me time. i love to express my self through art. so every night, if possible i want to paint a picture. they may not be awesome, cuz i dont really paint. but it might be good for the soul.
* i am also going to cut down on my computer time while i am nursing matthew. it is such a great bonding time i can have with him and i so easily check out during it. i am going to see if it changes anything if i pay more attention to him during it.
I will be bloggiong each day, and i hope that this can be an encouragement to those who follow this journey. I know that i cannot get through this life feeling full of life at the end of the day without the joy of Jesus, so i am excited for these next 40 days and beyond.