Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Good Dad

Found this gem of a picture on Pinterest today. This is awesome. Also, I caught Matthew playing gently with Benjamin's toes and fingers and rubbing and kissing his head. He really likes the baby a lot.

A good dad…

Middle of the Night

2am feeding

ME: Oh, Michael. I am so exhausted.

MIKE: When our boys are old enough, I will take you on a vacation.

ME: Yes Please. To Where?

MIKE: Away from here.

Mike and I are super pitiful middle of the night people, and we assume that we are entitled to anything and are owed everything after middle of the night parenting!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


my how things have changed with two kids. with matthew, i could be so focused on what i wanted to "work" on.  if he woke up to earlier i tried to pay attention to why and how we could stay in his dark room for a while to let him know it is still time to sleep. or id look at the clock for when it was time to nap and eat and whatever. but boy with a newborn. this morning ben woke up matthew crying. so when matthew woke up i didnt even look at the time and just tried to figure out how to get him fed and cuddled a bit while ben was screaming. and since up until 2pm little ben wanted to be held and snuggled little matthew had almost zero mom time. ohmygosh im serious my ACL hurts. the ligament i had knee surgery on in 8th grade. WHAT? hahaha. i seriously spent my day bouncing and lifting and squating and trying to read books while nursing and build towers while nursing and take matthew out of the high chair while holding a crying baby. wow. so when matthews nap time came around and both kids were screaming for me since matthew wanted me to hold him and ben did to i basically put matthew in his crib and nursed ben and we all cried. and when ben finally laid down for a nap, my priority was far from matthew needing a nap. i quickly took him right out of that crib to hold him and tell him how much i love him and how proud i am of him for being so patient and kind to us today. he was my little rock star and i missed him like crazy and so we played and played when i could have let him try a little longer to nap but i just couldn't pass up the time that i could have alone with him. priorities sure have changed, and when i used to keep track of when and how long i nursed matthew, i cannot even find time to sit unless im nursing so i have no idea what little ben does during the day. =) oh long rant and all that to say, i feel like someone stuck in the "Insanity" workout DVD and had me do it all day long. hahaha. these kids will keep me young! =) =)

Monday, January 28, 2013

My Morning

Gosh. It is so much fun having two kids. Today was our first morning just with me and the boys and even though my day started at 4:30am (how does Matthew know that if he wakes up at 5am he gets two hours alone with mom? genius idea on his part) it was wonderful. we had tons of mini dance parties and red lots of books and LOTS of snuggling, till we got out of the house for a bit. It was really lots of fun. And since I am major planner, everything was packed and put out last night incase we decided to leave, so getting out of the house with the two little ones was a piece of cake.

But gosh did I have a moment. I kinda lost my cool when trying to give matthew some medicine today. the medicine went all over us  and then he screamed and hit me (i dont blame him). But I yelled back at him. Like not in just a firm mom tone, like yelled. And the look on my little boys face staring me in the eyes with shaky hands and tears about to come cut me deep down in my soul. I NEVER want to see fear like that again on my child's face because of me. I have grace with myself and I know we are fine, but it only made it worse. My kids should never have to obey out of fear. I am reminded why I hate fear based parenting and yelling. I love him and wish that never happened.

On a brighter note we did sing "Old McDonald Had a Farm" which always helps perk him up. And even though there still may be a little scar in his heart, I was glad to get a kiss out of him fairly soon after the moment and am thankful for a wonderful morning with my two boys.

Oh, and today when Benjamin was crying in the car before we started driving, I heard Matthew in the back saying "Baby! Shhhhh! Shhhhh!", trying to sooth him. So sweet. My little Matthew has grown up so much in these past two weeks.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Baby Toots

I have just been sitting here next to little Ben while he is napping on the couch and he keeps making baby toots in his sleep and I am cracking up at him! What is so freaking cute and funny about that? I love that he keeps doing it and still doesn't wake up.

Oh. Just enjoying the little things about my little ones I guess.

Saturday, January 26, 2013


Today I am really realizing the mommy of two thing. Mike is at work tonight and Matthew woke up after I put him to bed just screaming (probably his ear infections that are still there) and it took me a while to calm him down. And all I could think was, "OHMYGOSH. what if Benjamin was awake right now and nursing, or woke up during this time that I REALLY needed to be with Matthew and screamed till I fed him?" And we all know that a hungry infant is relentless. What would I really do? I have no idea. It didn't happen, and so I probably shouldn't worry about it, but the needs of such little people are so urgent to me and for real when they are in pain or hungry, and i just wonder how I will divide my time when they both badly need mom at the same time. When it seems like their problem can't seem to wait because they need comfort that bad. Dear God will help me I am sure. They are just so little to be left too long to deal alone. I'm probably too tired to problem solve this. I should get some sleep while I can. Goodnight. My precious boys need a rested mom.

Thursday, January 24, 2013



* It has not been two weeks yet since I had Benjamin and it is good thing my mom is here so I don't over-do it because today I felt like doing sprints around a track. Yah, without her I'm sure I would be a wreck by now and really sore.

* Matthew learned how to say "sorry" which is precious and we figured out what is so cute about the way he runs. He doesn't really bend his knees. It is hilarious and really fast.

* Mike is the best dad ever and loves his boys.

* Moms rock. Meaning mine and Mikes.

* Benjamin is freaking handsome. My gosh what a stud, and he is soooooo sweet. I am so happy he is my kid.

*Matthew LOVES his brother and it makes my heart melt.


At moms group my friend walks in the house and sees Benjamin for the first time from across the room. "Oh My Gosh I think my milk just came in."   HAHAHA. That is a mom of three kids for yuh. I love moms group.

And my mom and I took Benjamin to my sisters for a girls movie night. ("Julie and Julia" is so cute by the way)

ME: I love girl nights.
NICOLE: Well, girl nights have changed a bit haven't they?
ME: Oh yah! Girls and two baby boys.
NICOLE: Well, but if you don't need the boob, you're not invited.

I love that I am doing this mom thing with my sisters.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Quiet Now

Tired, craaaanky husband (still handsome tho) - Screaming toddler who doesn't want to nap because dad just got home - hungry, tired, crying baby-  All just happened at the same time. Oh to be human.

But it is quiet now and they ALL three fell asleep within about 5 minutes of each other. I may just sit in the precious silence or do what they are now doing!

Love My Life!

Monday, January 21, 2013

This Time

This time around, second kid, i still have no idea what im doing. but why its easier this time is that i know we will never have these little people figured out completely. i am way more comfortable with trial and error and experience shows me they change every day and that when i have it figured out they will change again. and  im just more comfortable with being a deer in the head lights because i already know it isnt easy. and thats why its easier this time around.

AND my kids are stunningly handsome and confusing. they make me so happy.

Saturday, January 19, 2013


Well I wasn't alone tonight. A friend came and helped me while Mike went back to work for the first time since the baby. She was MAJOR help and Matthew loved her, but both kids still showed preference for me and I started to get a glimpse of my new reality and this makes way more sense to me. HaHa.

BRING IT ON!!!!!! I think I can keep two kids alive. It is my only goal while starting out my new life as a mom of two. Keep them alive and kiss them. Check!

And who doesn't LOVE this? I just love Pooh.

Friday, January 18, 2013


Im not quite sure how Benjamin already put himself on his own little schedule. I mean, he is 6 days old but incredibly predictable. And how in the world did he know that this mama is all about early bedtimes? Because he already picked up on that memo since the day we got home. I wasn't prepared for his, but so thankful he has his nights together and goes to bed and wakes up the same time as his brother with a few feedings in the middle of the night. My husband and I seem to thrive in our parenting when we know what our kids might need next, so little Ben is helping us out. And he is the perfect nurser. I'm not even a hint of sore and he its nice big meals every few hours and I know when he will be hungry. SO NICE!  It's just our toddler who is keeping us on our toes with every new and extremely unpredictable emotion. ;) Gotta love that little Matthew. The little person inside of him is starting to come out in a lot bigger ways. Gosh my kids are great!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Forgot

Oh! That newborn fatigue. It has arrived I forgot about this kind of tired. The kind where I go to try and sleep now but I am so tired that there is buzzing in my head that keeps me awake instead. I sometimes wonder if it hits me more than other people. This coming from the girl that slept 12 hours through the night since I was 3 days old and had to be woken up to be fed. And who just 6 days ago only had a toddler that throws a fit until I put him in his crib for "ni nite" and then sleeps 12-13 hours through the night.

But I am really praying that this time around my little kiddos keep me so busy during the day that I won't have as much time to think about it. It's just my husband that gets to see the crash and tearful lady at the end of the day. And even though I have developed a nice head cold from the lack of sleep, for some reason I believe that I am the happiest exhausted person there could be right now.

This has also been the week Mike has been home from work and we have not spent one morning at home. Little little Mr. Murphy has had doctors appointments and heel pokes for his jaundice and we have two more tomorrow. Let me tell you, we are becoming pros at getting out the door with two little ones. Those two sure have been troopers that is for sure, since I can't drive everyone has to come along. I think I can maybe take one more heel poke for little Benjamin and then I don't know if I can stand seeing another scar on his sweet little feet. Speaking of feet. I have four little feet to kiss now. OH YAH!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


So my throat is scratchy and my chest is heavy and my eyes are heavy too. But every time I find myself able to take a nap (which is a lot because Mike is home) I just can't do it because all I want to do is stare at my children. Each day I still don't take a nap I get a little bit more tired and so hopefully before Mike goes back to work my body will just force to me to do it. But I am so in love with them I cannot handle closing my eyes to every breath they take. Oh Dear Lord, seriously.

Also, I am in process of writing out his birth story but I have been too tired to write such an amazingly emotional and wonderful experience the way I want to write it.

Also, my sister in law is about to have a baby any minute now.  EEEEEEE!!!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


I probably should be going to sleep right now but I just can't stop staring at my gorgeous Benjamin and thinking of the little running hug followed by a million kisses that my gorgeous Matthew gave me today. Obsessed with my children? More than a ton.

Monday, January 14, 2013



      Benjamin Robert Murphy : 7 lbs 14 oz and perfection 
 We are so in love and so happy to be home.
We have a great story so far and I can't wait to share.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

It Has To Be Soon

I know I'm only two days past my due date, but it really feels like he is just going to stay in there forever now. The anticipation is really something else. I have just been wide awake since way too early now and am just dieing to meet him I can't get back to sleep.

On a different note, little Matthew has been so happy lately since his ears are getting better and we have had some precious times these last few days that I am really cherishing.

AND we just booked our first little vacation as a family of four. We officially fly out to California to see my sister and her husband in just a few months. So excited. Matthew and I did that trip when he was a baby but we all get to go together now. We are thankful to get out there before he turns two. One less ticket we have to pay for. =)  And now I get to see my sister all pregnant before her baby comes.

It's almost 6am so let's hope I can catch another 1-2 hours of sleep before my guy is ready to run all around and wear this mamma out. ;)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


*Due date is passing. still no contractions. As my dad would say, I'm heading into overtime.

* I have had an hour since Matthew went to bed to pack a bag. It was my one job tonight. I have managed to eat two bowls of ice cream and write this blog in that hour.

* We have two names picked out. Just waiting to see what he looks like to choose.

* My friend who used to live here still has a Victoria Secret magazine that comes here. Mike always folds it up and hands it to me to throw away since neither of us really need to look at that stuff. (hes so awesome) But today the swimsuit addition showed up so I had to see what cute (expensive) stuff is out there. And somehow I almost let that stupid magazine win. For about an hour i refused to eat a peanut butter cup because I wanted to look like them (hahaha. 40 weeks pregnant). I totally almost missed out on candy. Then I realized how they were tricking me and I ate two of them. SO much better.

* Matthew is a happy kid again now that his ears are being treated. YAY. Just in time for baby brother.

* Matthew and I are official mall walkers. Yup. we go before the stores open up. We actually have a blast.

* My husband is THE best. Seriously.

* And Jesus is taking my labor fears away.

* Speaking of contractions, I just had a pretty good practice one which reminds me I need to pack a bag.

Due Date

It's my due date today. It's like...Hello, any day now you are going to meet you're child for the very first time. You are going to see what he looks like and he is going to be touched by his parents for the very first time and you are going to give him the very first kiss he has ever had. WHAT?!?............So basically everything is moving in slow motion for me right now.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


I love when my sisters give me pregnant advice or whatever. And what I love about it is how different they say the advice.

me so im waiting for my midwife to call. but this baby hasnt stopped moving for 2 hours. he never goes more than like 5 minutes.
 maybe soon.

 Emily:  AHHH!!!
I am so excited to see this boys face!!!!
   Still no contractions?
 me:  no. but hes clawing at me.
 Emily:  He's just getting all situated! You doing all that squatting crap they tell you to help him?
I don't think I'm up for any squatting crap tonight, but I'm sure I will use that advice at some point.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Three cm

My midwife told me today that I am 3cm dilated and that I need to be napping and sleeping a lot. I kinda like where she is going with this. I think she also meant to tell me that my husband needs to be giving me neck rubs. I'm gonna go see what I can do about that one.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


"I still have a crush on you" -Mike (getting up for work at 4:30am)-

Also, Matthew has been so sad and so emotional and so touchy this past month. It was getting long to where I was kinda crying at night because I really had no idea what else to do with him to make him happy. Welp, come to find out he has a double ear infection after finally taking him in today to the Doctors. Poor kid, my gosh. I wonder how long he has had it. Those are the worst. It can only get happier from here.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy Holidays

I hope everyone had some really Happy Holidays. We spent the Christmastime with both sides of the family at some point. It was so nice. I am extremely thankful for wonderful families on both sides. Makes for no family stress. AH! I can't tell you how thankful I am for that. No mean or crazy parents or in-laws.

The New Years we spent with great friends, just eating great food and staying warm and cozy.
And well, now it is 2013. I have no resolutions and no expectations, but God spoke clearly to me last night and today about what this year will bring for me and no specifics past that.

- Sacrifice
- Challange
- Servanthood
- Laughter
- Joy
- Pruning
- Worship

Very excited to bring in the year with another son! Due within a week, I can hardly believe it.