Monday, June 18, 2012


I cannot stop looking at this picture of Mike and Rob at their High School graduation. 
What a great shot of their friendship.

There is such a void in my husband, naturally. 
But It has been so wonderful to see all of Robs close friends and family come together. 
There are new relationships forming and old ones starting again. 
This can be victorious, somehow.

Friday, June 15, 2012


 (Mike with one of our groomsman, Rob, at our wedding)

I will never in my life forget my husbands face when he got the call that he lost one of his best friends.
It has been a few days full of lots of pain, confusion, and lots of people uniting in love.

Rob (right) was one amazing man, worthy of living,
we all just wished he believed it for himself.
I will never understand this.
Prayers are needed for friends and family to experience supernatural strength and hope.

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Last Ones

Well Everyone! These are the last pictures of Matthew that will be seen on a public internet blog.
Since I have lots of friends and family who do not see him much I am trying to come up with the best way for those i trust to view updated pictures of him. Once I get it figured out, I'll write an update for it and friends and family can contact me for a private web address and password, or something like that. Who wants to miss seeing this cute face anyways?

Friday, June 8, 2012


Is anyone else so pumped for the Olympics that you can hardly even contain your giddiness when telling your nephew what they are all about. AHHH! I cannot wait.

Two of my favorite things. Athletics and Culture. And they come together all at one time with athletes that leave you awestruck. I cannot wait to see those long distance Ethiopians practically float along the track. Uh, and see those marathoners run their marathon at a pace faster then I can sprint the 100m dash. Oh, and SOCCER! And those swimmers.

Ok. I could go on and on. But common people, the Olympics are here so soon. YAY!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I Want To Be Brave

I feel like a part of me doesn't feel brave anymore. I don't feel brave enough to step out into the dreams and plans God has on our life. I have become comfortable and desensitized and the realization that I have a choice of my path is hard. I have a choice to keep taking it easy and just cruise my way through life working my butt off just to have a condo on a golf course when I'm old or just holding onto the fact that I get to go to heaven when I die. Or I can step up to what God has for me here on earth and end life dirty and probably tired because I served people till the day I die, which always seems a bit harder, but always more beautiful. I am 100% certain of the things God has etched into my heart. Passions and desires. But they seem so far beyond my reach and scary to even think about stepping into. But with the Grace of God I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss stepping into who God has called me to be. At church we have been doing a series on our God given dreams for our life. One of the ways we can know what they or it may be is that it keeps coming up. When I ask God what it is, the same thing just takes the wind right out of me and I can't breath because it is exactly what I'm made for but so scary at the same time. I believe we are called to each day and each person God puts in front of us, but there is something unique that we each are given to take responsibility for.

So honestly, right now, I still don't feel brave. And that in itself scares the heck out of me because I don't want to miss it. I want this dream so badly but everything tells me that I'm not good enough for it and that it is outrageous to even think about stepping out of my comfortable life. I want those days back where I lay sobbing on my bed in compassion for those in need and nothing, NOTHING, could stop me from getting my arms around them, except God himself. My family is my ministry but God has more for us than we can imagine right now. I feel like I am all talk sometimes and it is time to stop.

So I am just trying to process it all and get rid of distractions and clear my head to hear His voice more clearly.


Now that Matthew is a super strong walker, he is a huge fan of playing and running outside.

 $10 for 150 plastic balls for a ball pit. Can't pass it up. He loves it.
                                  Matthew LOVES riding in the running stroller while I roller blade.
Last night he was using all his little muscles (even his face muscles) to carry my roller-blades to me and try to put them on my feet.

And I love this picture of my guys. I love how much Mike loves Matthew.
MIKE: "having kids was the best decision we ever made"

Why use your hand to carry your monster truck when you have a mouth?

Also, Matthew let me leave him with a bunch of kids and one babysitter yesterday at moms group. He always has a breakdown when I leave and it breaks my heart and he ends up back with me. He was happy as a peach with them all yesterday though. He is growing up so fast.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


People here in Michigan don't get too pumped for January. 

                          Holidays are over.

It is REALLY cold.

But around this house we have never been more excited for January to arrive.

        Well, for obvious reasons....................


There is just going to be an extra little person to snuggle up with us.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Peter Pan

Quite possibly the best thing ever said in a movie.
Makes me think of my friendship with my friend Stefanie!!!!!!

Run Free

So often I have a morning like today. Where the doors and windows are open, the sun is all over our house, and we are eating Pancakes with lots of berries. And then I daydream about a home on lots of land where I give my children milk and lemonade in mason jars, we make our own bread, have a garden, and raise our own chickens for eggs, having people over all the time we can share it all with, and my kids are outside all day in the mud, running free, building forts, and climbing trees. It makes me so happy just thinking about it. Maybe one day. Sounds too good to be true and maybe a little too pinterest. But it is still what I would love.

Just another start to a beautiful day!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Light In The Dark

Today was sent from God. I have always felt a sense of urgency to help stop modern day slavery. But I hear many horrific stories and overwhelming statistics. There are more slaves TODAY then ever in the history of the world. The fact that human trafficking is the fastest growing organized crime in America feels like a bear of a problem to even touch. It is faster growing than drugs and weapons. Why? Because people can be resold and resold and resold and they can be snatched away at no cost. LIVING HUMANS. The fact that there are millions of woman, children, and even men who are chained to beds of horror, right now, forced into sexual acts of evil all day and night and abused and drugged in ways that I don't think I should even type, makes me sit frozen and helpless. What can I do? I care enough, but how can I help a girl that is now hidden in a brothel in chains? How can I get the babies born in the brothels out of the cardboard boxes they live in? Why is it that traffickers can buy infants for the sex trade for as little as $100 and I have to find $50,000 to bring them into my loving home as my child? I have been totally confused and just feel as though it is all out of my reach.

Well today, I went to a Civilians first response for human trafficking and I have been completely empowered. I am so thankful that there is something that I can do. 100s of ways I can prevent and keep eyes and ears out for victims and predators. It is sad to know that trafficking is happening in my neighborhood. That not far from me there are actual souls, reported as young as 6 months old, that are used for sex or labor against their will. America is the THIRD nation in the WORLD for human trafficking. It is all over and I have finally learned what to look out for. Law Enforcement, teachers, parents and healthcare etc. are slowly but surely being informed as so many situations are looked over because it is such a secretive and dangerous industry. People are becoming aware that Pornography pays and feeds into sex slavery like CRAZY.  People involved in the pornography business even claim that it is hard for them to believe that the things they are aloud to do are even legal. I learned that ONLY 1% of prostitutes are prostituting voluntarily. I mean, we got to break some myths people.

Predators are men and women, and victims are sought out riding the bus, at parks, in schools, internet, sexting, in the malls, in their homes. etc. Parents, calmly, we need to inform our children and not hide them from signs of threats to themselves and friends. We don't want to instill hatred or fear in their hearts but to empower them to help change and protect those around them. Since kids know a lot what is going on, we just need to help them connect the dots.

I have been given a lists and brochures of things to look out for and numbers to call to respond. Two pages of things that I, a stay at home mom, can do to help. I needed this. Those precious children and adults who are sold everyday need this. They need regular people like us to respond and be suspicious and be our own little detectives to save lives.

I have a few AWESOME stories of redemption to share tomorrow but I am going to sleep, resting on this verse that it is in His hands. And even though the devil is pissed off at humanity and trying to kill us because of how much God loves us, no one can ever snatch our Savior away from us.

"Father of the Fatherless and protector of widows, is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity." Psalm 68:4-6

Also, check out my husbands latest blog. I love him.