Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Scarf Addicts

i like converse and scarves.
SCARF ADDICTS, this video is for you. Im talking about, TAMICA, KATIE W., ANGELA, and MOM. And whoever else. You know who you are.
It will change your scarf wearing life.

And maybe its time to get off the internet and get some quality time with the hubby; however, we did just talk about Matthew for an hour. And when that happens it usually ends up in hysterical laughter.

More Pictures of Now

I feel like I have a ton of stuff on my mind and tons to catch up on. And since we are getting this all printed at the end of the year, I am hoping to get as much documented on here about this year as possible. Just so we can have lots of memories to look back on later. So there are plenty more to come. I have not posted a ton of pictures, but I am going to try to do more. My mother-in-law just snatches any pictures she can of her favorite grandson and I just have to get some more up here for her. ;)

Matthew tolerated an hour in the stroller in the beginnings of winter weather today.
And he is still smiling in these pictures at the end of the walk.
We just love the fresh air.


 We just met up with Jay, one of our old co-workers and he got that cute dog stuffed animal for matthew.
They just like to look out the window together,
often hoping to see his favorite people and cat friend that live across the street.

My early Christmas gift. 
Mike was tired of me sitting in a folding chair
and, he is pro at giving christmas gifts early. 
He cannot wait.
This is where story time before nap time will take place.
and i also nurse matthew in his room before bed just to relax and stuff him for his 12 hours of sleep =).
when he is done he often starts fussing till i put him to bed,
and tonight, it was really tough for me to get out of the chair so he could go to sleep.
Thanks husband.
We love it.

We also went to his Grandma Murphy's house and Matthew was not impressed with their beautiful Christmas tree. 
He really just looked at us like, "ok? whats the big deal? show me the cat."

Don't worry. We WILL get him in the Christmas spirit. He did enjoy listening to Frosty the Snow Man, NSYNC Christmas and those ANNOYING chipmunks. 
He loved those high pitched singer chipmunks for some kid reason.

Just Sisters

Just a normal conversation with my sister.

ME: I just want to help the street kids and people in starvation. How do I do that?
EMILY: Ummmm. so you basically want to take in all the street kids in Detroit and bring them into your house?
ME: Well. Yeah!
EMILY: Ok, well i am just getting to work, but let me think about it and Ill call you back. (totally not sarcastic)

I believe she will come up with a plan!!

Christams Trees

Hey, all you metro detroit people that like christmas trees in your house and see this as a season of giving to those who don't have as much. Check this out. We cannot wait to get ours. We have the perfect spot for it.

Christmas Trees For A Cause!

First Snow

MATTHEW. Today is your FIRST SNOWFALL that stayed on the ground. I cannot wait to put you in your little winter clothes and take you outside. It is so beautiful. Hot chocolate shall be purchased (not for you) and we are going to cuddle and listen to Christmas music today, and make paper snowflakes. Well you won't be making snowflakes but you can look at them hanging from the ceiling. You were laughing at them in the mall, so we will make them over here. AH! I'm so excited.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


today, my heart is stirring, clenching in my chest, breaking.

sometimes, it is just easier to ignore this.
so that we can satisfy our desires,
and so we dont have to feel bad about complaing that we waited 30 minutes for our food at the restaurant, or that our "stuff" doesnt work good enough for us, or that the slow old driver made us late for a tv show.

and we know that if we dont ignore it,
we have to do something about it. 
and that just might be uncomfortable, that just mean a little less "me" time. less complaining.

oh. and did i mention. these people, are human beings, HUMANS.
no more excuses why they dont deserve our help. 
i dont care if they arent in my country or if its their "fault" they are poor.
its selfish excuses to satisfy ourselves.

we are humans, together, all around the world.
trying to survive. 
some of us are surviving, 
and maybe that means we own the responsibility to help our fellow humans who aren't surviving.

Oh God! Where is my role in all of this?
Where is your role?

Monday, November 28, 2011

Getting Ready

We are just getting ready for the Christmas season over here. 
Giving presents is one of the best things ever.
Matthew has done a ton of shopping with us lately.
He enjoys all the stuff to look at.
Have a great time in this season. 
It is so happy.

Friday, November 25, 2011

10 minutes late

I put Matthew to bed at the exact same time every night. He goes down super peacefully without a fuss. Tonight, I was 10 minutes late to putting him down and he fought bed for an hour. I don't understand kids. Maybe it isn't because of putting him down later and was just an off night for him, but I really wish babies could talk and tell me what's up. According to Mike, he is saying, "Mama, I just cannot get to sleep tonight, Mama help me fall asleep, I just can't fall asleep."

But, it's all good, Michael is making tacos while I sip on some wine. The man cannot stop moving today now that his back is healed. He let me sleep in and take two naps, he took Matthew out to run some errands, he cleaned the bathroom and mopped floors, he has made me food and is working on getting all the laundry done. Oh, so nice. How did I do it without him? 

My Husband Is Back and My Thanks

Mike is back to normal, mostly. That means he has scrubbed the house, ran some errands, made me breakfast, and told me to chill. I spent two weeks doing everything, and after he told me he was able to help out again, my body heard him, and shut down. Like when you are on vacation and your body knows you don't have to be "on" anymore, it gets sick. Once I took a minute to rest, it was all over and I feel like I can hardly get off the couch and I could seriously keep sleeping. My nose is running and i am in laziest mommy mode ever. It is such a nice day today and all I could get energy to do was take him to the swings at the park for like 10 minutes. So as I sit here with the sniffles, I am just thinking about all I am thankful for.  Other than the obvious of family, friends, and JESUS, I am just going to think about some life stuff I am thankful for.






There is lots more. Those were just in the front of my mind as of this moment.
I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving Day

I love this day! And since we have been married it has turned into the tradition that we will be spending Thanksgiving with Mike's family. Other than the time we were in Turkey for Thanksgiving. What a coincidence to spend turkey day in Turkey. =)

Today, so far, I am thankful for Mike being discharged from the hospital. Did I mention Mike was in the hospital over night? My boys keep me on my toes. But all is well and we are ready to eat and enjoy family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Holy Power

Well, I just read Psalm 18. Dang, satan, you try to mess with me, you gotta face God's power and Holy Anger. Dang, This is The God I want on my side.

This is only a section of the Psalm. It is all just as good though.

Psalm 18:3-19

3I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
   and I am saved from my enemies. 4 The cords of death encompassed me;
    the torrents of destruction assailed me;[a]
5 the cords of Sheol entangled me;
   the snares of death confronted me.
 6 In my distress I called upon the LORD;
   to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
   and my cry to him reached his ears.
 7Then the earth reeled and rocked;
   the foundations also of the mountains trembled
   and quaked, because he was angry.
8Smoke went up from his nostrils,[b]
   and devouring fire from his mouth;
   glowing coals flamed forth from him.
9He bowed the heavens and came down;
    thick darkness was under his feet.
10He rode on a cherub and flew;
   he came swiftly on the wings of the wind.
11He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him,
   thick clouds dark with water.
12Out of the brightness before him
    hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds.
 13The LORD also thundered in the heavens,
   and the Most High uttered his voice,
   hailstones and coals of fire.
14And he sent out his arrows and scattered them;
   he flashed forth lightnings and routed them.
15Then the channels of the sea were seen,
   and the foundations of the world were laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
   at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.
 16He sent from on high, he took me;
   he drew me out of many waters.
17He rescued me from my strong enemy
   and from those who hated me,
   for they were too mighty for me.
18They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
   but the LORD was my support.
19He brought me out into a broad place;
   he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

New Album and Racers and Lots More

Wow! It has been crazy. Mike's back has been out a few weeks now and has been on strict restrictions and I am realizing how much he does to help around here, now having to take all the load. I am taking a few to sit and enjoy listening to the new and first {la}godmusic album called "shake the earth". You can by the album here for $9.90. My brother-in-law, Jon, and my sister Emily are part of a ministry that bring God to the entertainment industry. While still taking part in secular entertainment, Jon has been able to put together a Christian Music album with a few other band members. It just came out yesterday and is already ranked #21 for Christian Music albums on itunes, so check it out. The music and talent is incredible. It is a unique sound to Christian Music.

Well anyways, we were able to take a trip to Ohio to have a mini World Race reunion. My heart was so happy. It was like going back home for me. I will always feel so comfortable around those people. I am pretty sure there is nothing like having people surround me and pray over me and encourage me. Being able to tell a huge group of people my deepest darkest feelings and not feeling judged but only loved and freed cannot get much better.

It was so awesome to see my friends taking care of four foster children. They did such a wonderful job with them.

Matthew was also very interesting. Mike and I both were a bit confused with the way  he was acting, so unlike him. Matthew is super into mom, but not as much as he was there. He was not his usual flirty, smiley, put me in a crowd for entertainment, type mood. He was actually super whiny, clingy, throwing himself, and mini fits. Basically he was more work than usual. I think that being in a house with lots of people was tough for him. He likes going out in public and big crowds but the constant attention he didn't seem to want. I am realizing it is getting harder and harder to travel as he recognizes home more; because when we got back home he was happy little Matthew again, playing by himself most of the time, not needing to be held so much. OOH well, kids will be kids I guess. At first I was self conscious and wanted Matthew to act his normal self, but I guess I don't need to put that pressure on my kid just to make me look like a good mom. but that is a topic for another day.

We also have a new roommate as of the weekend. It is great having good use to our basement and a friend to have around. We still have a ton of space to ourselves as a family, and will keep good healthy boundaries, but I just love things like this; roommates.

Today we brought Mike to physical therapy around matthew's nap time, so since he fell asleep on the way there, i dropped mike off and just drove around the old town we lived in the first year of marriage and drove by the little 300 sq/ft basement apartment we were in. it was fun to see again. even tho it was a great time in life, i looked back at sleeping matthew and wouldn't want that back. I am very content with my family of three.

I also had the best time ever at the grocery store today. everyone was super happy and i think i got to interact with 5 different people while shopping. that is a ton of people i think for a grocery store. it was fun. also, matthew woke up for some reason a few hours after he went to bed. he cried till i came in, then he smiled at me, i picked him up and he just hugged me and started kissing me. then he put his head on my shoulder and started to stroke my face with his hand. we hugged for a few minutes, i put him back down and he went back to sleep. im sorry, i just don't think there are many things much better than that. and i will leave it at that. have a good night everyone!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Im so Excited!

This weekend is about to explode with Joy! I am too excited to concentrate on packing. And Matthew has even been taking his naps today to give me time and I am just crazy happy right now! THIS is what is about to happen.  I have not seen most of my World Race people in over a year!!!! Maybe no one else cares about the invite letter below, but I need to have it in my blog records. This is just too good.

K and F Squad Friends,

We are hosting our 2nd annual Pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Dinner on November 19th. Last year a few of us gathered together the weekend before Thanksgiving, celebrated and ate a lot of great food.

We want to do this again this year. We have decided to make this an annual event giving our WR family a chance to reconnect. We understand that not everyone can make it but decided if we kept this as a standing invite each year, people could begin planning for it.

Now... The details...

We currently have 4 foster kids with us in the house, so all of our bedrooms are taken at the moment. However, we have room to house people in a loft-style space in the pole barn on our property. This is of course given the assumption that you don't mind sleeping on couches and dusting off the old WR sleeping pad for a couple of nights. The space has it's own bathroom and you don't have to bring your own toilet paper. However, bringing your own towel is recommended if you plan to bathe. As we move forward and people start getting hitched and producing offspring we can recommend some hotels ;)

You can show up to our house any time Friday and can stay through the weekend. Let us know your travel plans and when you plan on heading home so we can best accommodate both you and our family.

The official dinner will take place sometime Saturday afternoon. Aside from gluttony, this will also be a great chance to catch up, hang out, and if need be Stacy, Caitlin & myself can debrief you... If you're life is really a wreck we will hand you off to the Murphy's and Tamica.

We will be providing the turkey, cheese cake, pumpkin bread, cider, coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. Katie is taking care of the sweet potatoes, mac-n-cheese, corn muffins, and pumpkin pie. We ask that everyone else bring one of the following items (plan on serving 16-20 people) and please post a comment letting everybody what you're bringing so we don't have duplicates and know everything's covered. If you're traveling a ways, there are plenty of grocery stores around here where you can pick stuff up if you don't want to lug it with you. We will have limited stove top availability if you need to heat something up, but the oven will be occupied by the bird. Here's what we need:

Mashed Potatoes
Green Beans
Cranberry Sauce
Rolls and Butter
Plates and Napkins
Cups and Plastic Cutlery

Use this page as well as calling or texting or emailing or tweeting to confirm you are coming and for directions.

Looking forward to a great time!

Brian & Stacy

Thursday, November 17, 2011

When It Isn't Working, Confidently, Be Mom!

When it isn't working anymore, you have to start over. Naps were pretty easy most recently. I just cuddled him in his room, put him down, and patted his back till he fell asleep. Now, he is growing way out of that, but cannot fall asleep any other way. So it isn't working anymore. I have been stressing the past few days because he just won't nap, tired and all. But I came to realize that you cannot force a person to close their eyes and fall asleep, even if they need it. I have been letting him cry for about 5-10 minutes, go love on him, put him back down and walk out. There is nothing else that is working. Everyone keeps saying that it works, that he will get so tired that he will just fall asleep. Not Matthew. Yesterday he was up till bedtime. So instead of stressing about it, it is really the first time I felt like it was time to establish "im mom, you are child." I know he doesn't purposefully try to take control, but it is time I stop stressing, stop forcing him to fall asleep (or stress if he doesn't) and start to at least establish crib times. He gets his bear, blanket, noise machine, little star projector on the ceiling, and I still will go sooth him if he cries too long. But three times a day for about an hour, he is in his crib. He can sleep if he wants, he can play if he wants, he can crawl, and he can cry. But it must be done, and I will not stress if he won't sleep. I cannot make him. But nothing else is working, so it is time to start something new. And so it begins and I must do it in confidence. Maybe one day soon he will realize he can sleep other than bedtime. I feel so much better.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew,

You are not stubborn! You have recently, and currently are, going through a lot right now. All in a few weeks you were sick in the hospital, went through a time change, and was away from home for almost a week. Now you are trying to practice crawling and your body must feel strange. Your body has been through a ton, and it has taken it's toll on you. 10 minutes total of naps today. Rough. But somehow your spirit stays strong through it all. Matthew, you amaze me. Baby, I am clueless on how to help you through whatever is going on but we will get through it together.

I love you so much. I love how you belly laugh when I put on mascara. And I love watching you try to pick up things off the floor with your tiny fingers. I love how you rub my arm and kiss me and wrap your arms around my neck and hug me. I love you so much. It is a dream that I have you. Baby boy!! I will love you forever!!



my kiddo has some bickel side in him. stubborn and determined.
he is relentless and maybe it is 2 pm and he took one 10 minute nap so far.
he refuses to close his tired eyes. and he is sooooooooo tired!
oh. he scoots across the room now. that is nice. and cute!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Just Some Goodies

Other than hospitals and doctors, and some family time, I have hardly been out of the house. Mikes back is no good right now.
But I had a great heart to heart out tonight over some delicious hot drinks with a friend. And now I am currently at home slowing down with some tea and the amazing pumpkin cheesecake she gave us. I have been non stop and sometimes I know that I have been non-stop when I start to get a cold. And it never fails, my cold has started. I get warn out super fast.
(let's pray for baby naps that are longer than 15-30 minutes tomorrow)
But I am enjoying the cold remedies of sweets and hot drinks right now.

and some other goodies. matthew is just growing up fast. 
he is starting to have the pincher skill down where he finds little things on the floor to put in his mouth. 
And as you see, he is on all fours much more. Crawling is next.

Immaculee Ilibagiza

A few years back I read a story about a woman who survived the horrible genocide in Rwanda. For three months she hid in a tiny tiny bathroom with 6 other woman. God literally hid the bathroom door from the killers for three months even after searching the house they were in many many times. I am currently reading her next book called "Led By Faith." It is about letting go and releasing your offender. Immaculee forgave the man who chopped up her mom and brother. She went to him in prison, and forgave him face to face, and was set free. ONLY by the miracle of God can we do such an act. Only by the hand of God could her brother be praying for the men that were killing him as they were cutting off his limbs. Only God. WOW!

After the war and getting a job with the U.N, this is what she writes.

"I'd made a fresh start, but one thing remained for me to truly make a new life: I needed to practice what God had taught me in hiding by fully forgiving my family's killers. So, in a prison near my hometown, I went to see Felicien, a man whose machete had struck both Mom and Damascene.
        Like so many others who had become killers, Felicien's soul was in turmoil. When the evil fog had finally lifted from his heart, all he had left was remorse and guilt. He'd been a tall, proud man whom I'd admired as a child-a business leader and local politician who wore nice suits and always paid attention to his appearance- but now his body was decaying and his mind was on the verge of madness. Groveling on the ground before me wand unable to look me in the eyes, he was too consumed with shame and regret to ask for my pardon, which I could see he desperately wanted.
      Standing in that prison, I knew that Felicien and I, both killer and survivor, were on the same path. We both needed the healing power of God's forgiveness to move forward if our country was to survive and rise from the bitterness, blood, and suffering of the holocaust.
      With all my heart, I forgave Felicien. And I believe that, in his heart, he accepted my forgiveness."


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Martha or Mary

This blog could potentially be really long, but I am very tired so I will keep it short. Maybe

I am crazy lady. Maybe all moms become this way. Like super efficient in an obsessive way.

Well, this mom thing can easily become more about being a nice hobby or challenge if you let it. Or for those people who have to do everything perfect. (me) So where is the line, of being responsible and maintaining a home, cooking healthy, cloth diapers, saving money, cleaning non stop, learning sign language for your kid (so fun), trying to be the best mom I can be and being too obsessive? Those are good right? Scripture says to do what you do as though you do it for the Lord. I believe as Christians we should do what God has given us to do at our finest. Not in a performance type way but to respect our gifts and our place on earth. Anyways. This can cross the line, for me, to be about becoming, becoming awesome and DOING all the right things where it can become more about ME than about Jesus, my husband, or my baby.

All that to say. The Martha in me has taken the back burner and the Mary in me is a little bit wild. So here is what I needed to hear today.

ME: I mean. I think it is ok that I take care of the house like I do.
MICHAEL: I agree. You do it so well.
ME: I mean, if Jesus were here I would want this place to be so taken care of and perfect.
MICHAEL: Umm. If Jesus were here would you be cleaning or sitting at his feet?
ME: (cry) Oooooooh!!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Back Pain and This Weekend

My husband decided to go and hurt his back at work and it seems to only be getting worse. Basically he only can stand right now and that isn't feeling to good on the legs to just stand all the time. Why did he have to go and do that? Poor guy is getting tons of ice cream and isn't allowed to lift more than 5 lbs per doctor. Which means he cannot pick up Matthew =( or do his job. I know he will be better soon.

Matthew truly loves to dance and is working on the beginning of crawling. He has a way to go but he gets on all fours and throws himself forward, often landing on his face and chest and then not being to happy about it. He also loves to pinch me when he is nursing. Hard.

Well this weekend has been a catching up weekend. Finally went real grocery shopping after a few weeks and got the laundry caught up and now just making some of Matthew's food for the week while setting up my pinterest weekly meal plans, and starting a new book. I even got to enjoy the beautiful weather today, with some rollerblading with Matthew in the running stroller. MUST have for any active parents.  A running stroller.

Have a good rest of the weekend. It has been good, but NEXT weekend is about to rock our year!!!!!  ;) Let's just say, WORLD RACE mini reunion. Enough to make my emotions run just thinking about hugging those people sooooooooo tight. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I love them. I cannot even contain it.

Friday, November 11, 2011

help me with changes

i have always liked change. but not all forms. i like big changes, but in the day to day, i am realizing that i like predictability. and maybe that is where i struggle with being a mom. or maybe all moms struggle this way. i dont know. i mean, babies are constantly changing and i cannot always figure out how to deal with that. when matthew was 2-3 months old he was sleeping all night long. then he was up 3-4 times a night from 4-7 months. now he sleeps straight through, but a few nights where he is wide awake in the middle of the night just wanting to be held while looking at shadows.

then he goes through a month where he is constantly hungry and could eat an adult size cereal bowl of food, to days where he could go 4-5 hours without food and hardly down a baby food jar for dinner. in the past month all i had to do was lay him in his crib at nap time and he would be sleeping in 15 minutes, while in the last few days he fights me the entire morning, refusing to close his eyes, yawn after yawn, screaming in the crib, screaming in my arms. and now it is 11 am, he is finally sleeping, and i feel like i am ready for bed.

i really dont know how to handle these changes. i have matthew on a predictable schedule, but his body is constantly changing, growing, learning new things, processing new things, he is an individual, not a robot. kids, they have bad days like us. days where they are "off" but just cannot rest easy. i know this, but i just don't know how to accept these changes. i like to know what to do next and what will happen. but with these changes, i dont always keep my cool and act like the mature adult, but what parent does all the time?  i just am not as adaptable in the day to day like i thought. how do you, parents, handle these unpredictable changes in the day to day? please share. i work really really hard at it, but i need some good advice.

big new change over here. 
matthew is starting to eat with his fingers. 
we started with a few crackers.cutest thing ever.

Thursday, November 10, 2011


my sister's husband is the one playing the guitar. 
pretty cool.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


silence is good.
it is not always available.
but i am sitting in it right now.
well, mostly.
no other human is making noises right now around me.
you know that song called "sound of silence" by simon and garfunkle?
it is such a good song.
the sound of silence is so good.
i always wondered why my mom would sometimes like the music turned off in the car.
i get it now.

but the little peeps from the crib,
are often a good interuption to the silent sounds.

wake up

i am so ungodly before 6:30 am.
why so?
selfishness perhaps.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


when discussing what we will do about santa clause with our kids...

" i can tell you this much. i am not putting "from santa" on my kids christmas presents. there is no way some fake, fat dude is getting credit for gifts i bought for my kids. fat chance." -nicole-  


sleeping kids

"i was just a better mom when my kids were sleeping." -my mom-


Monday, November 7, 2011

time change

being a mom there are things in life that you never noticed were there really or never made a difference to you. like ramps and the big stalls in the bathroom and the help of the door holders. on the flip side i also notice fireworks and loud parties behind me and dangerous drivers AND the TIME CHANGE.  even though i put matthew to bed at his normal bedtime in real time, he still woke up at what WOULD have been 7am. oh i love matthews 7am rising, but now it is 6am rising. moms dont get the extra hour like everyone else. ooooooh well.

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Don't tell God you have a big problem.
Tell your problem you have a big God.

the things i stumble upon in pinterest.
i sometimes forget i have it pinterest,
but on my lazy nights when i remember i have it, 
i cannot stop.

good quotes and diy's galore.


 some girl one day...........not gonna think about that..........but he sure is handsome

lots of LIFE going on lately. and the best part is that matthew is feeling totally like himself and we have been outside hanging in the perfect fall weather. everyday this kid overwhelms me with love. this morning we just spent minutes kissing and hugging and cracking up while he squeezed my nose. i never thought another guy other than my husband could give me butterflies, but the way matthew looks at me and smiles makes me feel like a million bucks. the next few days we will be headed to ohio to see the family. so good.

also, i am crazy artsy and crafty inspired lately.
i cannot stop coming up with new ideas.
my hope is to get a sewing machine pretty soon. =)
it could get crazy once that happens.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

abby bickel

one of my favorites EVER is my cousin Abby. Will always be one of my closest friends. Well, I am currently watching her referee a Notre Dame girls basketball game. I just have to say how proud I am of her and how hard she has worked to ref at this level.

Neutropenia To The Health Rescue

first of all. our house smells like burnt pot because I forgot to add more water while I was steaming Matthews green beans for dinner. eh.

oh. and matthew dances to music now. 

anyways, matthew currently has something called neutropenia. He has low neutrophils. low as in you want your value of them to be at least 1.5 and he has .1 (that is point one). neutrophils are white blood cells that help to fight infection and sickness. needless to say, he isn't going many places till this is all figured out. it can be normal for having a virus but they are still keeping a close watch on him to make sure they go back up.

well, this neutropenia thing has caused me to do a ton of research, ultimately leading to the health of not only Matthew, but what I am eating because what I eat goes to him through his main food source, my milk. and honestly i eat cheap pasta and sauce with some veggies and an egg on white bagel every morning. and that is about it. NOTHING good for matthew excpet the few veggies and the egg. So as i evaluate and completely redid my entire grocery shopping least to make sure that matthew is naturally getting the nutrients and vitamins that he needs, mike will end up on the healthier side of things as well, and he is very compliant and ready to go with it as long as we can still order pizza sometimes.

a few things i consider with each thing I buy.

1: is this just filling my stomach or is it making me healthier with each bite I eat. Maybe I am doing great research on what I am buying.

2. Cost. yes. this will be more expensive. but i figure the foods we buy will satisfy us longer, keep us from our bodies craving more of something we dont really know we are craving so we just eat more pasta. maybe this will be more expensive but hopefully it will lower our medical bills in the long run. maybe. i mean. i am sure there are people who do everything "right" but still die...wait? we all die, so we better feel as good as we can while we are here. so in this cost thing, i am doing my work and calling places and getting the best prices on the potentially expensive stuff.

3. recipes. gotta come up with some meals to make out of this food so we want to eat it.

we are excited. yay!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Matthew At The Hosptial

The past two days have been tough, to say the least. 
But Matthew is home and recovering, still very emotional about everything, but he is good enough to not stay another night at the hospital. 
Just some follow up blood work. 
Well, lets just say I feel years older just after the last few days. 
All of a sudden making medical decisions for my baby.
It is a really intense responsibility and kinda is taking a bit to process. 
There is nothing like a sick baby in a hospital that pulls at your heart strings.
I am so proud of him it is crazy.
He went through some very uncomfortable procedures.