Today I am really realizing the mommy of two thing. Mike is at work tonight and Matthew woke up after I put him to bed just screaming (probably his ear infections that are still there) and it took me a while to calm him down. And all I could think was, "OHMYGOSH. what if Benjamin was awake right now and nursing, or woke up during this time that I REALLY needed to be with Matthew and screamed till I fed him?" And we all know that a hungry infant is relentless. What would I really do? I have no idea. It didn't happen, and so I probably shouldn't worry about it, but the needs of such little people are so urgent to me and for real when they are in pain or hungry, and i just wonder how I will divide my time when they both badly need mom at the same time. When it seems like their problem can't seem to wait because they need comfort that bad. Dear God will help me I am sure. They are just so little to be left too long to deal alone. I'm probably too tired to problem solve this. I should get some sleep while I can. Goodnight. My precious boys need a rested mom.
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