You know. I'll be darned. The woman that God wants me to be is WAY better than the woman I had in mind for myself. I have been letting God do the work inside of me instead of me trying to polish myself up. Since my identity has been so much more secure as his daughter I feel so free and I am starting to have such a clear picture of who I am becoming and why and for what reason. It is amazing and wonderful and so much better than spending hours trying to figure it out on my own. The World Race changed me and gave me firm lessons I will follow the rest of my life and so did other previous events. But Ive been surprised. This whole caring for a household thing and not just skipping around the world when I want has done something that God knew would do to me that I didn't have any clue. Who knew that folding laundry, doing dishes, reading children's books, sweeping the floor all day, and wiping poop would actually teach me servant hood more than anything I have ever done. To some I am not radical, spontaneous, or adventurous anymore. To some my life is boring and not noble. My old self would say that. But for some reason I don't care if my life looks "cool" or not. This year has changed me to really understand more of what commitment and serving really means. We have been forced to become good stewards, better friends and family members, and to see what it might really mean to plug into one place for a few years, and make a stable home for people to take refuge in. It is good. I don't know everything, and I want more wisdom. But I see more clear now. I am changing. And I like it better than who I was trying to make myself look before. This is good and I am thankful.
Oh. And these verses have been my prayer this whole year. That I can be that prudent and wise wife; for the sake of my family and others.
Proverbs 19:14,“House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.