Something About You

Dear Matthew,

        In the past 10 months I have observed something about you, and since you have become more interactive it has begun to shine right out of you. Firstly, I love how God has created you. As I write this way too late at night, because it is fresh on my heart and important to me, I need you to know that you were made just as you should be. As I tell you things I notice about you now, they may be completely different when you are able to read this. But for now, here I share what I see.

       Too often I feel, and unintentionally, children that liked to be passed around at the party and jump around the center of it all to make everyone laugh, or who are able to adjust to new settings quickly, or play amazing with other children while mom and dad are gone, are looked at as the "awesome" children, the "secure" children who were parented right and have all the characteristics that people envy. As all of those are totally charming and sweet and fun, I am starting to see the beauty in the opposite. And you are teaching me this. Matthew, you are currently a 10 month old introvert. I think. Always have been. And as long as this remains true, I will protect this beautiful characteristic about you. I fully believe that if I had you around a million people right from the start, it would not change the way you are. Your ability to feel loved and content with little attention but from a few loved ones, amazes me. Little man, don't get me wrong, YOU LOVE going out in public. You love seeing new things and learning. It is essential for you. And this is why. You have shown by the way you observe and give the most intense thinking face, that you are a thinker and a processor. Ask your Grandma Murphy and Grandpa Bickel. They have talked about this many times since your birth. Because of this amazing trait, you NEED your space and quiet to let it all rest in your mind. What amazes me about you Matthew is that you don't need a ton of stimulation and lots of activity to keep you happy. I LOVE that about you. You love to be still in my arms with calm music for a good part of the day. My friend observed this about you and she absolutely loves it. She told me that you are such a lover and we believe that your ability to function without a million people giving you attention shows that maybe one day you will be blessed with the Gift to just sit still and be in the presence of the Lord, in his quiet space he makes for you. In this world we distract ourselves with so many things that get in our way from spending time with Him, but your love for the quiet and peaceful is a quality that few find and many secretly want.

You love your home. You love your crib. You love your routine. You love loooong stroller walks and relaxing in the shower. You love to just sit and look out the window and wait for the very few cars that come by.

You do not love lots of people in your face trying to give you attention. I noticed this first when I saw my world race family in Ohio. you would fuss and flail until I took you to a quiet room with just a few people. When the house had cleared out to a handful of people, you played forever, content on the floor with a few people around you.  and rooms with kids running around like crazy and mom is gone, not your thing; however, when all have backed off and mom or dad is there, you make your move. At church you found a lady you did not even know, you leaned into her as she naturally took you. You leaned in, kissed her on the lips and lunged back to me. So your gift with people is amazing. Each time we are around other kids, your first move is to sit quietly on the floor, then you look, find your person, and crawl over to give a kiss and a nuzzle and come back to mom. The moment your little friend came to visit, you glowed with a smile and nuzzled into his neck. This is most always the case. You love. You love. And your smile is the most genuine smile I have ever seen. It makes a million butterflies go crazy in my stomach. And you are also loyal. You know your people. You are so loyal to your grandparents. Right now you know Grandma and Papa Murphy very well and you are just as comfortable with them as you are to me. I love that. And you are a unifier. I just know it. You have brought family closer, you have brought your dad and I closer. Your special ways about you are treasured in my heart.

I Love You Matthew,
Mom