I've been wanting to write you a letter for a long time now, but I just haven't been able to put thoughts to words, but I will try because I want you to know some things.
First, I want you to know how much you've changed my life. You have brought so much joy and happiness to me these past 10-11 months that it is just incredible. Your smile and laugh absolutely brighten my mood, no matter how upset I may be at the time. Your joy is contagious. I see genuine love come out of you in everything you do. The way you cuddle with your mom in the mornings and after naps (and other random times throughout the day) almost make me emotional. It is so obvious how much you love your mom that it makes me want to love her more too. She is absolutely crazy about you by the way. The two best parts of my day are in the morning and when I get home from work. In the mornings, mom puts you on the ground outside of our room, and I say “hey there buggy!” and you sprint crawl to me just to come give me hugs and kisses. I wouldn't want to wake up any other way. And when I get home from work, whether you are in your high-chair or playing, the moment you see me, you sprint crawl to me once again with the biggest smile on your face. Each time I see it, it makes me know that you missed me while I was gone and you are happy I'm home. I love those moments more than you'll ever know. You have also made me want to work harder in everything I do. I want you to have everything you need from me, and I will work as hard as I can to provide what I can for you. There will be things that I can't do for you, or won't do for you, and that is only because you will need to learn certain skills and lessons for yourself, but in everything that I can and should do for you, I will do it the best way that I know how.
Second, I want you to know how proud I am of you already. You are learning so much so fast! I still remember bringing you home from the hospital when you were born. You were completely dependent on us for everything, there was nothing you could do without us. Just a short time later, you learned to roll over and back again, then it seemed like only a few minutes had passed by and you were sitting up on your own. I feel like I turned around and you were crawling, and now you're close to walking! Slow down boy! I feel like I can't keep up with you! :-) I want you to know that I am proud of you and there isn't anything you can do that will make me any less proud of you than I am now. Sure, there will be times when we don't see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean I'll be any less proud of you.
Third, I want you to know how much God loves you Matthew. God created you Matthew, with great care and with great purpose. There is nothing about you that is a mistake. Your eyes, your ears, your nose, your hair...all of it was designed perfectly by God, because He loves you. He loves you so much that He sent His only son Jesus to die for the sins you haven't even committed, but will, so that you could be close to God the Father. Jesus knew you before you were born, and He loved you then just as much as He does now. You don't deserve, you can't earn, and you can't lose His love. My prayer is that I can accurately show you, and teach you about this great love. My promise to you, Matthew, is that I will do my very best to live out the love of Jesus in my life, so that you have a glimpse of the perfection that comes in Jesus. I will mess up, I will hurt you, and I will let you down, not on purpose, but because I am not perfect. But Jesus is perfect. He will never let you down, He will never leave you nor forsake you and He will provide for your every need. I love you so much, Matthew, but my love for you is small when I think about how much Jesus loves you.
I love you son, and I can't wait to watch you grow into the man that God has created you to be.