I am noticing that Matthew is experiencing new feelings such as frustration and maybe a little bit of anger, and he has completely normal child reactions to these feelings. Reactions like yelling at a cousin when they take his food. Or pushing another kids hand away from the book he is reading. Or maybe screaming when he can't get his big toy over the step. There could have possibly been some flailing and kicking the floor after a way too short of a nap, a totally inconsolable child, face first in the floor, sobbing.
And by the Grace of God, all I could think of in that moment was how totally amazing it is that God is letting me be here for him through all of this. He has given me about 18 years to teach a child how to one day react to his feelings in a responsible and healthy way for when he is an adult. But all I could think about was something my friend told me and what we have been talking about in my mom's group. --It takes time to teach children. And we cannot expect them to act like adults right away. They WILL act and react like children. We as adults, must stay calm, and react the way we want them to react when they are frustrated and angry--- So as I rubbed his little back as he was kicking and sobbing into the floor, I pray with everything in me, that the first time he hits me (if it even happens), I will have the strength to discipline in wisdom, as a very calm and loving adult. I really pray that my reaction to any disobedience is with the motive that I am there to teach him loving behavior for HIS good, not to make a point of MY authority. Man is it hard. But I just could not believe what God showed me today. Matthew is very very sweet with other children, but as he is starting to have the not wanting to share syndrome, God has shown me it is not the end of the world, he is a wonderful child, and it will take time to teach him. And I am relaxed with it all (in this moment), and ready to raise this wonderful little boy, speaking positive of him through the rough moments.
On a fun note:
Matthew can walk. He just won't.
He now does sign language for "eat" "all done" "more" "milk" and "book"
He likes to bear crawl, which is even more hilarious with a naked but after bath time.
He is learning to gently close the cupboards. It is very cute to see him try to not slam them. He really only slams them when I won't pick him up when I'm putting dinner on the stove. Just to prove a point maybe?
Matthew knows the names of some of his books and will go grab the book you ask him to grab.
He loves hide and seek and chasing games.
He likes sitting in chairs.
He loves his mom and dad!
And I will read this post over and over again. What a beautiful reminder.