A Letter

Dear Baby Matthew,

Oh my goodness! You are getting to my emotions today. I am full of joy just thinking of all the little moments in the past few days. Yesterday I was laying on the floor with you and you crawled up to me and pursed your little lips and gave me a big wet kiss on my lips. Then you backed away and gave me the biggest smile ever and spit out your tongue and wrapped your arms around my neck. Seriously? Seriously. Uhh. I love you. 

And then today. Watching you be all sweet at moms group and just sit there so calm and take in all the craziness from all the older kids. You are just so sweet and I know you will be such good friend to so many other kids.

Today you also melted into me and hugged me and just cooed and hummed to yourself while we just let each other know just how much we loved each other in that moment. 

And then, just today, your third tooth is peaking through those gums, you learned how to crawl up the one step from our family room to the kitchen and now you are babbling, not just making squeeky noises. And I heard you say, "ma ma" three times today. I was so proud of you for finally figuring out that step you have worked so hard at and then to crawl over it, look at me, and go "ma ma ma". I don't know if you know what you are saying or if you just found a new sound, but it brought tears to my eyes and makes me feel like a piece of heaven just fell in our home. With all the love and blessing you bring I am sure that more and more of Jesus' character is being revield through your unconditional love to me. 

Oh baby Matthew. I cannot express how much I love you. And I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what decisions you make. No matter how your life turns out, I will always be so proud of you, just by the way you love. THAT is what matters to me. That you know how loved you are and daddy and I just cannot stop telling you that because you need to know. I heard a story of a father saying before that he didnt love his daughter because she could dance, or because she had pretty hair, or because she was funny.  But he loved her because she was her. Same for you Matthew. My love for you will never be any more because of how you look or how smart you are or how much money you make or things that make you seem awesome to the world. I will always love you just because you are YOU. Just because you are Matthew. Jesus has given you such a big heart and I know he will use it for such great things in His kingdom.

I love you Matthew. I couldn't ask for more right now.

Mom