Dear Matthew,
You are four months old now and looking back at these past four months is so fun to do. I am in tears remembering the first time I held you. After four hours of trying to push you out, I finally got to hold you. I remember how the only way I could get you to stop crying was to put your little hand in my mouth. You liked that for some reason. I remember your little mouth, so softly and hesitantly, trying to nurse for the first time. I remember how off the charts gorgeous you were, straight out of the womb. I remember your dad, just in awe of you. He was so overwhelmed with his love for you and wanted to do everything he could to take care of you.
Since coming home from the hospital we have all been on quite a journey. You had a bit of a tough start. Lots of gas. You would cry and cry and cry, and then you would poop and be ok. =) There were times you would only fall asleep if I was holding you. I dont know how at just a few weeks old you could have such a preference, but you did. There were times it would take us almost 7 hours just to get you to sleep. I remember that we could not get you to stop crying, and you seemed to be in so much pain, that your daddy and I just cried with you while your wrapped your hands around our finger. You built up lots of endurance in your parents. You have always been very cuddly. You loved to sleep with me in the beginning until one day I woke up to you face down in our bed, so that never happened again. We then would put the crib next to our bed with the rail down, and I would sleep with my hand on your chest. You loved that, and would often fall asleep just by that.
You have the reputation for your amazing faces, and for your extreme observation skills. you are always looking and observing. i brought you to your daddy's basketball game and you couldnt keep your eyes off the game. i have to cover your crib or you look around too much and cannot sleep. people, strangers are ALWAYS commenting on how alert and observant you are. I wish i knew what you were thinking, your eyebrows look so serious sometimes. you seem to always be coming up with some plan. i love that about you.
you also have the most heart melting smile. sometimes you give a smirk kinda smile. your eyes glisten when you smile, and sometimes when you smile at someone you turn your head to the side like you are flirting. it is so cute. i often catch you starring at someone with a half smirk on your face. you will just stare them down until i inform them that you are waiting for their attention. the second they look at you, that little smirk turns into a full out grin. you just love people. i love that about you.
I love your babble. you love to squeak loud. the times you talk the most are often to your dad in the mornings, when i kiss your face a bunch of times before naps and you try to lick my face. you talk so much when i kiss you. you also talk a bunch when i give you a massage. it is so sweet.
your dad and i love when you poop. and we know when you are going to poop before we hear it coming. you will stop all movement, slouch your back if im holding you while your sitting, and give a droopy face. it is so adorable, and we always call that poop is coming. and sure enough. your daddy and I love how you sometimes grunt after your poop too. i think your daddy is the most proud about that one.
i more and more cannot get enough of you. its insane. even when you keep us up all night, you start the morning out with a huge beautiful smile, and your daddy and I always look at each other and laugh, and just say, "oh, you are just so lucky you are cute". You are worth the sleep deprivation for sure.
I love bringing you in the morning and waking up your still sleeping daddy. you love chilling in your diaper and laying on his bare chest. the other day you just had your belly across him and took your hand and played with his beard, just talking and smiling your little heart out.
you sometimes roll over now, and you love to grab your feet. and you seriously found your thumb today, which is adorable.
you hate and scream in the car seat, and it breaks every ones heart.
your feet are the greatest and your hands are beginning to reach out and grab things.
i love nursing you. you are now taking breaks while you nurse (if you aren't inhaling) and stopping in the middle of your meal to look up and smile at me. tonight you did that so many times, just making sure i was paying attention to you while you were eating. it is so sweet. daddy was sitting next to us the other day while you were eating, and you would stop and turn your head as far back just to look at him too.
you are such a happy baby and so fun to be around.
i love you matthew
love, mom
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