Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Brilliant Parenting Advice

"So many of us have spent so much time and energy numbing discomfort because we can't sit in it.....I can tell you as a college professor, we are raising kids who have no tolerance  for discomfort and disappointment."

 "We perfect...We perfect, most dangerously, our children. When we hold those perfect little babies in our hands, our job is not to say, "look at him, look at her, shes perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect. Make sure she makes the tennis team by 5th grade, and Yale by 7th grade". That's not our job. Our job is to look at them and say, "you know what? you are imperfect, and are wired for struggle, but you are worthy for love and belonging." Show me a generation of kids raised like that and I think we will end some of the problems we see today."
-Brene Brown

50 Amazing Things About My Dad
#42: Piano Performance- At church or pastor talked a little bit about performance parents. Parents that show how proud they are toward us only when we "succeed". When we graduate, play a good game, get a good job, get the best grades, etc. This made me really thankful for my dad and made me think of a very significant memory in my life. When I was in high school I played in a piano recital that I completely screwed up on. I froze almost every 30 seconds and could not even make it through the piano piece. I remember not wanting to confront anyone and was just so embarrassed. I remember I left to walk outside instead of going to the after dinner. My dad followed me and just hugged me while I sobbed my little eyes out. He told me he was so proud of me and it didn't matter to him if I played all the notes just right or not. He told me it sounded beautiful. He also told me that he struggles with wanting people to think he is perfect too and that he didn't want the two of us to have to struggle with that anymore, that it is OK to not be perfect and to fail sometimes. My dad was so vulnerable and made me feel so loved. We went for a walk until I was done crying and then went back in to eat some good food. And honestly, since then, I have never been fearful of failing in front of my dad or to feel like I have to be something "great" to make him happy and proud of me. I love my dad.

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